"Now I've got me tow bar
I'll go and get some wood
And make a babies change table
I think it could be good"

"The baby's due in 2 weeks time
I'd better make a start"
So Phil set up his saw bench
That's when things started to fall apart

He placed the new bought timber
Carefully on the stand
He measured out the required length
Then got the Power Saw in his hand

The lines he marked were straight and square
His hand was steady and true
He started up the power saw
And began to cut it through

The dreadful wail was heard by all
And Nat ran down the path
"What's wrong?" she cried and then she saw
He'd cut his bench in half

"No worries" said Phil, "I'll fix it up
And make another start
A little incident such as this
Will not make me lose heart"

He screwed the bench together
Then took a little time
He cut the timber off to lenght
This time all went fine

"Now what I'll do to make it nice
I'll make the edges rounder"
I wish he hadn't had that thought
Because he had a power sander

He clamped the timber to the bench
And began to strip and sand
But when he hit the metal clamp
The sander flew from his hand

Now when he let the sander go
It landed pretty hard
And this one had a faulty switch
It took off round the yard

It whizzed around the B.B.Q.
And ripped up the garden bed
It wrapped the cord around Phil's legs
And tossed him on his head

But the final blow came when it hit a rock
And no one thought it was able
But it smashed right through the window
Then onto the dining room table

It gouged and scraped and tore and cut
It really seemed possessed
Until it cut right through the cord
And finally came to rest

Natalie walked out and said to Phil
She really seemed quite stable
"I'll take the car and get the tow bar off
And buy a changing table"